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[09 Sep 2006|10:18am] |
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mood |
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 good |
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[09 Sep 2006|10:14am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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Okay, I lied. I didn't go downstairs, but rather, did a major overhaul of my friends list. If I defriended you, it's nothing personal, I just don't feel that we talk much anymore.
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[24 Apr 2005|05:18pm] |
Who the fuck are these people that assume they should be able to tell me things? The one part of my life that still burns, these people believe they have some ungodly right to force their shit onto me.
For the last fucking time, back off you cocksucking motherfucking shitheaded cusses!
(In case your wondering, witness this and this.)
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[19 Apr 2005|06:12pm] |
Leave a comment and post anything that you want, and post it anonymously.
Anything.
A story.
A secret.
A confession.
A fear.
A love-- anything.
Be sure to post anonymously and honestly.
Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.
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[20 Feb 2005|07:30pm] |
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[20 Feb 2005|06:09pm] |
Okay, so some asshole has just linked to my page and put an asshole comment on one of my entrys about my dead boyfriend.
To all those who wish to do this-
Back the fuck off. This is my life, you worthless cuss. You need to learn to keep out of other's lives and go on with your own worthless one.
If you don't like what I say- Tough shit, you buffon-faced pricks! It's in the fucking Constitution- Freedom of speech! Go look it up, you illiterate bastards.
In the meantime, I'm making my journal Friends Only and logging the IP address of all anonymous comments. Good fucking luck with harrassing me.
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[03 Jan 2005|07:04pm] |
I was putting a draft into my mail, so that I could work on it on the computer in the living room, when I noticed another draft. It was to 'Katelynmylove...@whoIlove.luv' with the subject 'I love you so much...'
I paused, then opened it. On the inside said,
'I just want to say that I love you so much and I'll always be there for you....You must hold out and be strong. We will be seeing each other soon....please wait... I love you so much!!!'
My heart clenched as I recognized Brandon's quirky typing, and I started to cry.
I don't remember when he wrote this, but I know he meant for me to see it right now..
Right as I start to give up hope.
He does love me, lives through me, and is waiting for me in Heaven with the female body he always wanted.
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[30 Nov 2004|04:23pm] |
IT'S CREEPY HOW MANY SONGS REMIND ME OF SYN.
Thankyou Ang^^
Okay, so Epcot was hell, my friend threw up, it sucked. I slept through first hour at home^^
Herr Moores bought us cookies! Yay^^
Kay, my legs still hurt.
Here ya go, Syn's theme song-
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
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[28 Nov 2004|01:55pm] |
I'm leaving in twenty minutes to go to school. I have this thing at Sea World for chorus. I'll be home around 7:30 or 8. I wanna bring my cd player, but I have no pockets! Oh well, I'll get someone to hold it for me, or I'll put it in my underwear^^ I'm not joking, I seriously will.. I did once at Epcot..
Megan, see you there! Wish us luck, everyone.. No one knows what we're doing^^;
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[28 Nov 2004|09:04am] |
I said some pretty bad things to my mother last night. I was so pissed at the world, at myself, sort of at Brandon.
I said I was sorry a million times, and she still can't get over it. What the fuck does she want me to do? I'm only human, thanks, she helped to make sure of that. She said some pretty bad things to me as well, and she hasn't said sorry.
Jesus, I don't fucking get her.
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[27 Nov 2004|08:32pm] |
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why the fuck did this have to happen to me... to us.. WHY THE FUCK NOW
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[27 Nov 2004|07:45am] |
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music |
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Shake Your Bon-Bon in my head.. Damn you Chibi! |
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Okay, so-
Yesterday, I had a three hour clinic on Gatsby. It was fun, did lots of jumping, but something was wrong with my legs. They were all... *DIES* I dunno. Then I came home, hung with Ryu, and my sister and Mike were fighting(Though it was really just my sister). She was all like, "WHEN YOU SAY 'I LOVE YOU' I DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU MEAN IT" And I thought, 'If there was a just god, he would've broken THEM apart, and not Brandon and me. Not like they'd care if they were apart, anyways.' *sighs*
Then, I drove my mom EVERYWHERE. We went to Borders, cause I wanted to get a journal so I could write to Brandon. Get my feelings down. Then we went to KFC and got me chicken^^ We picked up pizza for everyone else, then went to Blockbuster. I bought Little Nicky and Ghost.
Okay, a few words about Ghost-
It's about this couple who're about to get married, and the guy gets mugged and shot, and he becomes a ghost on Earth for his girlfriend. Sound familiar? Yeah- ME AND BRANDON. So, I was watching it, and didn't cry much at the funeral scene, then, when she started talking to herself(Talking to her boyfriend), I started bawling really badly. It looked so much like me. She was so empty.. So confused, so hopeful, and so pessimistic at the same time.
I wrote a bit in Brandon's journal, then started watching Little Nicky to cheer myself up. It did a bit, then I went to bed.
Today's horse riding with Helen, which is very good, because I just need to relax and do something I love. Tomorrow I gotta acolyte(Note to self- switch with Evan), then I gotta go do the Sea World chorus singy thing. Good, cause it's Sea World, bad cause it's standing for an hour and not knowing what we're doing.
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[25 Nov 2004|07:51pm] |
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music |
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Me humming Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas |
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I have this song stuck in my head, cause of commercials.. And it isn't even Christmas! Dumb corporate America..
It's all nice and cool, I have my window open. Yay for winter!
I drew Syn for the first time today.. Go to my DA if you wanna see the results.. They're bad, trust me^^; www.aphoticcrow.deviantart.com
Uncle Kemp, his clan, and Grammy and Boppa came over. Grammy was morbid(as usual), Aunt Tina was story-filled and humorous(as usual), Uncle Kemp was hysterical(As usual), Joshua and Bradley wanted to spar me(as usual), and Hannah was adorable(as usual). A very normal Thanksgiving^^
Oh, I forgot to say this early, probably because it upset me-
I went to this place in Melbourne called New Hope. It's a place for children under 18 who're grieving. They have a suicide/homicide night, so it's pretty specific. I'm gonna try it. I guess it upset me cause it makes me face my grief, which I don't really wanna do. I kinda like to pretend he's still alive. Only think about times we had, and not think about times we won't have.
*sighs* Happy Thanksgiving, Brandon..
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[25 Nov 2004|09:49am] |
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mood |
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Kinda pissy |
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music |
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My desktop's Incredibles background music |
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I dunno, this may seem kinda dumb, and if it is, disregard this entirely. I'll probably delete it after I write it, but I just need to vent, I guess. Which is weird, cause I never EVER vent.
So it seems like all my real life friends have forgotten me. Except Vee. Ever since I've become obesessed with The Incredibles, everyone else went off with their own obsessions(Except Vee, cause she's cool like that.)
I dunno, I guess I'm.. scared. Scared of change. I mean, my life barely changed before, then my boyfriend dies so that's a huge fuckin' change(Just a little bit) and I don't want anything else to change at all, but it seems like I'm not getting my wish.
BTW- Family coming over for Thanksgiving. When all I want is to curl up with Ang's fanfic and listen to Rammstein(I'm on a Rammstein craze, what's it to ya?)
I know most of you are like, "Get over it. It's a cartoon. Suck my balls." But I NEED my obsessions. As weird as that sounds, I need my obsessions. It's the only thing that really keeps me sane. It's the only thing that really keeps me going when all I want to do is curl into a fetal position and rot, just to see Brandon(Even though suicide's a cardnal sin, but I don't think rotting would count as suicide, cause I sorta inflicted it upon myself, but sorta not.)
Now that I've vented(Which, I say again, I NEVER do), I'm gonna change my bra cause it's pissing the hell outta me.
Please disregard this whole thing.
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[23 Nov 2004|07:23pm] |
Okay, so my sister's home. That sucks, but so far so good. Then again, it's always okay when she first arrives, then she starts getting back into her normal self after a couple of days. Update on that in a couple of days.
I know I already said this, but it bears repeating-
My uncle's back!! And he and his clan are coming for Thanksgiving! *squee*
So, short day tomorrow, chorus day, and NO SCHOOL Thursday or Friday. I'm(almost) in Heaven^^
The Incredibles Game Update-
I did alot tonight. Finally got past the point with Mr Incredible, only to find out I gotta save the world as him. After watching some gorgeous clips, I decided saving the world could wait until tomorrow(No, I didn't make that up- The level is called 'Save the World'^^).
I'm happy to say, that my obsessive-ness has crossed over to Cody- He's on the family room floor right now, playing with his Elastigirl, Dash and Violet toys from McDonald's^^ He's starting to memorize the Incrediboy sequence^^ I dunno what's been with him lately, but he's been all.. hanging off me. Like a normal little brother should be. Like he looks up to me. *shrugs* Hmm.
I'm gonna go play with Cody. Have a good rest of the day^^
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[21 Nov 2004|07:59pm] |
I got The Incredible's game for Gamecube.
Lemme just say this- So hard!
The Omnidroid gave me hell for about an hour!
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[21 Nov 2004|08:54am] |
Last night, I went to bed around 8:30. I then woke up at three in the morning^^
Ang was on, so we talked a bit, and squealed over Syn(Yeah, we're obsessed. Gotta problem?).
I went back to bed at 3:30, woke up at 7:30, and've been up ever since.
My mom might get me The Incredibles game today! *squeals*
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[20 Nov 2004|08:05pm] |
I slept for two hours today. I was a tired muffin.
Only three days of school next week! Eeee! ^^
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[19 Nov 2004|04:43pm] |
I feel very accomplished right now^^
I just typed my fanfic. The first fanfic chapter I've finished in a long time! Oh, sure, there's still more to write, but I finished a chapter!
I'm gonna celebrate by watching the Iron Giant, and wait for Helen to come^^
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[18 Nov 2004|09:05pm] |
Just got back from horse riding.
I dunno what it was, but I sat in the saddle and I felt secure. Gatsby and I were on it tonight^^
I started writing an Incredibles fic. Still dunno if I'm actually gonna finish and/or post it.
Friday, then only three days of school! I'm going to see my cousins, aunt and uncle.
Speaking of which, my uncle's back safely from Iraq! He's safe and sound, sleeping in his own bed tonight. Thank God.
I'm gross, dirty and stinky. I take shower now^^
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